Thursday, June 3, 2010

"Hiii Byeee"

You may have got numerous friends to amuse you. But, do you truly love any one of them as much as (or at least about nearly) you love your dad, mom, sis or bro? Are you sure about any of your friends that you will be with him/her till any one of your deaths? I do not use a relation-reminder like ‘keep in touch’, when I write a mail to my brother, Avani. But, when I write to the majority of my friends, I do so usually; exceptions are not even a handful! ‘Keep in touch’ shows a nebulous fright of losing them.

I am posting this module for all the soft-hearted friends, who feel like pathetically losing their dearest friends because of ‘no reasons’! One of my fellow mates, Mr. Colby expressed his deep grief through his words. Let’s listen to him.

”I don’t know, what happened to him, nowadays he is not that close to me as before! There was a time, in which ‘we had only us’ both to cheer up and to tear down’! Now also, I have only him as my soul mate. But, he seems to be forgotten the sugary past. We had a core friendship history of consecutive 8 fruitful years. Many outsiders came to us and gone from us throughout life without harming our relation and love till now. He used to call me over the phone, even if there is no special reason or matter to convey! But, now he rarely even picks my call! He always seems to be busy with other activities and partners! I am getting only his group forward sms’s! He may think Tintumon and Sardarji will rejuvenate the relations!”

“I had been to his esteemed house so many times before. The heartening hospitality and care his mom, dad and sis had gifted me was a matter of ecstasy. But, now he is keen in keeping a decisive distance between his family and me. I am not allowed to call into his land line phone. I am not allowed to inquire about his family members. I am not supposed to invite him for my family functions! He says ‘why should we/ I disturb our/ my family for our/ my sake?’...”

“I can feel the rise in my heart beats when I dial to his cell phone now! ‘Will he be free now to talk to me? Will he be engaged with some other important things? Will his mood be calm enough to speak to me?’ Such cumbersome of ambiguities getting on my nerve nowadays! ‘You understand this is badly happening when I wanted to hear not my nutty professor, not the bad tempered boss who assigns me weekly targets, but my dearest friend!’…”

“He doesn’t want me to meet him so often, but once or twice per annum, or else the repetition will spoil the glee of such confrontations it seems! I don’t know to whom I should share my worries about my ‘other side of me-person’! I know I cannot grumble to anyone about this. I know I cannot afford to induce him through any arbitrator. But, yet…I just can’t bear..!”

After hearing this unfortunate happenstance, I too started to think about our most ‘weak’ societal tie called as ‘friendship’ with a wailing psyche. Thus, I badly forced myself to opine that ‘Blood relations are blood relations; non-blood relations are non-blood relations’. There is a perceptible gap among these two modes of relations. A mom can insist her son ‘to be with her’ always. At least, she can rebuke her lad for not keeping a persistent visit to her. But, a friend cannot do what the mom can! A friend can only anticipate his companion to be with him. He cannot badger to prosper the relation. He cannot expect any obligation, commitment or genuine care badly! No mom can drop her son forever for making a mistake. But, we often witness core friends getting dispersed from petite disputes, chasms or mismatches in perception! What an unsatisfied friend can do to get back his cheerful intimate friend is, just wait in a corner silently to come his friend to him, nothing else is likely to be worked out!

‘Friendship’ is a feeble relation! You may read this with a frowned face. But, this world is too outrageous in case of friendship maintenance. Meeting a person, making him as a friend, maintaining the ship and leisurely, after being fed up, the termination for the sake of getting place for a new attractive friend! ‘Time’ is a dangerous poison, which harms most of the friend relations. ‘Entry of new friends’ (who may be better and worthier than the last one!) will also happen to bury the old mates ‘in many cases’.

But, there are a few soft hearted guys. Their friendship zone is like a filled glass of water. It cannot be filled with more water, without poring out the existing drops! They are helpless. Such guys are always meant to suffer from the ignorance from their core friends, like the state Mr. Colby undergoes. His love and dependency towards his intimate friend was bottomless and sincere. He was merely addicted to his beloved one. But, let’s cruelly hope that ‘Mr. Colby will empty the glass to conserve fresh drops’!

True friendships can neither be destroyed nor be created! But, it should be formed gradually. A person can make N number of friends. But, can make only a few soul mates. They are like the most glorious pearls among the rest. Most of the friends do not like to keep commitments to each other. Only a few friends are ready to be ‘a friend in need’! Ancient friends used to write with feather and ink, to cover the longest yard. No telephone facility, no web links, but only a silent and stern mutual belief! But, now we live in a networking-society. There are so many easy online ways to increase the number of friends. Some friendship will long 1 month. Some will long 6 months. Some will be capable of being long for 1 year. Then, with great piece of ego, chocolate friends found to wave a ‘bye’! How arrogant the guys! World’s face is getting so despicable nowadays. Values are vanishing from everyone. This materialistic system of present friendship mechanism is growing more fake and fragile. What we can do is, only to wish ourselves to keep our friend’s love towards us, uniform and galloping as time passes.

Once I heard an interesting reveal from one of my yoga batch mate, who was a lonely military man in Border Security Force for a pack of years. He told me, “My ever best friend was/is the God. Don’t be exaggerated at this. I am truly speaking. I had not even a pet cat to accompany with during my hectic past. I have had no phone calls, no sms’s, no mails and no scraps from or to my dearest friend till now. But, we keep in touch always… I felt him. I feel him eternally!”


  1. Ya...Friendship should be eternal,moreover ...unconditional...
    Loved Your Post...:)

  2. thaanx neethu... KEEP IN TOUCH.. :) lol...

  3. As u mentioned ,we usually ask others to keep n touch when we are not confident about them getting back to us again or else when we are so sure that they wont be keeping n touch with us any more..;)..
    Having a sincere and understanding friend is an asset for a life time...Nothing is as precious as a treasurable friend...
    Your post made me to think abt the value of my best friend and to think again as of how much she has done for me till this day and how much she means to me..:)..Im quite glad to be reminded of that...
    A nice piece of thought Abi..u have done a good job..its worth reading the post and its some thing on which u cld reflect too...keep thinking..and keep writing..and keep posting..:)..

  4. Oh.. :) Thank u sooo much Arathychechy fr ur valuable sugessn n blessings..
    well... wishing u n ur close frend al d very best forwrd.. :)

  5. great chetta...... i don't know how you realized dis but each and every line you wrote was prefect and it was heart touching.......i think u have given the truth about wat's friendship...
    and i too hope dat v can fill the new drops but without removing the old drops.... y can't v take a new glass 4 it?
    i like wat u wrote.... and i read dis only just b'ze of glindi... pls don't stop writing... and inform her abt ur new ones so dat v can also read it...... all the best......

  6. ohh neethuu :) soo nice 2 read u :) yep.. its a grt idea.. can get new glases :) bt, still... :(

  7. After reading this post, why do i feel like people have the wrong idea about friendship? friendship, according to me, is not an effort full job. its supposed to be a blessing. friends doesn't mean a person we are depended on. a friend is just a person that reminds us that we are not alone in this world. friend is not just one person its a collection of people with whom we enjoy our lives with its beauty and ugliness. blood relations are entirely different from a friend. anybody can be your friend. it can be your classmate, a co-worker, or even your own brother. why do people actually fear in LOOSING someone. they are not yours to gain in the first place. when somebody is not 'in touch' with me, all i do is sit back thinking about the great times that we had together and fill my heart with curiosity till we meet again. well its just me.....
    congrats on the post... looking forward to