Sunday, April 28, 2013

'Chopping board'

I would rather term it as ‘adoption’ rather than ‘marriage’. She purchased me before 2 years for bilateral benefits.

Before 5 years, upon finishing my graduation from a wholesale educational establishment in Mangalore, I tried my fortune with the Leela, Bangalore. I served as Asst. Commis second in South Indian Hot Kitchen for some months without seeing sun; neither sunrise nor sunset except on my off days. Many tons of carrots, potatoes and onions got it’s skin peeled through my holy palms. I was notorious in hotel for my lethargy and lack of charisma except in my speed in dish washing and chopping vegetables. My tremendous pace and expertise in Onion chopping was famous in hotel even till General Manager’s cabin. There were days I had worked continuously for more than 30 hours and it was of no difference from slavery.

Those were the nights I used to fall asleep on sheding on to my dusty cotton bed witin 4 normal knots of breathe. Biologically, I am a sensitive sleeper as certiied by my degree hostel mates. If a pin drops down or if my Pappa do a midnight urinary flushing soundedly on toilet closet or if my 100 meter distant-neigbour’s veteran Pomerian barks, my sleep used to get distracted. But, I accustomed sleeping tight in a 2BHK room even before the rest of 21 inhabitants sleep. But, my tiredness from duty helped me sleep nullifying every possible varieties of visible and invisible pollutant emissions from 21 sources. Amongst all, except 3 or 4 were ardent devotees of Old Monk rum and Cigarettes. I hate Old Monk. Hence, I waited for my capable time to bag better branded whiskeys. During horrifying summer, we faced severe water crisis in room and only the first 5 or 7 those who awake first were entitled to take a decent shower.

One fine day, when I realized going through my payslip for the month that my salary hike for the year was about INR 225, I absconded from Bangalore and appeared on the next morning for 'Momley' break fast at my home. On retrieval from Hotel industry, I felt as if I am leading a clam retirement life. Pappa, Mommy and Sister inculcated luxury to my homely-heavenly days. I had no friends or no account in Orkurt or Facebook or Twitter at that time to kill time. Thus, I had nothing else to do apart from helping Pappa in his rubber tapping in the morning and during daytime I only used to eat, excrete, sleep and masturbate thinking on fat south Indian actresses. I spent almost one and half years in this fashion and which dumped more than 7 Kgs of fat in me.

I didn’t seriously start thinking about my future until I had a piece of my Birthday cake on my 27th Year on earth. Pappa consulted with marriage brokers to arrange bride for his capable son. I had only one demand that ‘she’ should be fiscally capable enough to look after me by taking care of my basic needs.

I got many proposal letters. But, couldn’t get through the interviews due to disparity in many verticals; for that matter age, family name, financial status, physical match, culture match.. etc.. Susan was my 18th interviewer. Susan works as Sr. recruiter in London, United Kingdom in an Indian based consultancy. Her earnings looked spanning through Indian ruppee view point. She liked me even though she realized that I am a ‘good for nothing’ when it comes to any profession. She was 3 years elder than me. She looked pretty on make-up and there were no romance found on her face. She had nothing in her which I had desired for in my life partner except money. She had only her younger sister alive in her family who works as IELTS trainer in Pala.

After marriage, on first night Susan told me that, ‘Henceforth, you are my owner. You should keep my key in your pocket safe. And, same time I will guarantee your life security. I have been earning lots of money since past 5 years and I will have to be there in the UK for few more years. I have my own vision in life. I need your support in my personal life. I’m fed up of solitude and I need to have a meaningful family around, that entire expectation is surrounded by you!’. I was delighted and thrilled. Susan took me over and flew to London.

I was weak in English and I took few months to familiarize with British English. I decreased using ‘pardon me’ from my conversation gradually. For honeymoon, Susan took me to famous spots in the London and enriched my days with lots of entertainments acquired by money. Susan had many official friends as well as personal friends in London. She presented me before them all in expensive suite attires. What I had to do is to dominate Susan in public as a competent partner. Contrary to our bed room scenes, she enjoyed being obedient to my commands in public.

Susan asked me once that, ‘do you want to work or are you comfortable being at home?’. I left the decision up to her wish and she asked me to be at home untill I gets bored of house hold chores. I mastered cookery, dish and cloth washing, house keeping, purchasing.. etc..

I was afraid of Hotel industry. Deep reluctance and laziness to work in Hotel industry and enslavement made my days, weeks and months; dependency developed as a comfort factor for me.

Susan had a predetermined family plan. As per her calculation, I will have to feed her womb after another year from now. Susan was not interested in having Sex with me. She used to shout at me in polite manner when I caress across her anatomical junctions in midnight darkness. I had spent many months sleeping near Susan upon suffering from the tempting flavor of body lotion and by doing just masturbation assuming her cooperation! Later on, I came to know that she had wonderful external resources to satisfy her biological needs. I did neither question her nor deny. Because, I too had better options to do for myself for my needs in the neighborhood!

I and Susan used to visit the nearby church on every Sundays and the father was a young man, who worked as COP serving public once and now too serving public but having different reporting officer! He was my only friend in London ever since I did my sincere confession before him one day. Father Gabriel used to console me for my solitary worries and helplessness repeatedly stating ‘there is a time for everything!’

Everyday in the morning, Susan would kick start my day with her black tea service. Then, she will start replying to her official mails and would make a few official calls. On realising Susan’s busy work schedule, I no more anticipated her hands in break fast preparation. My 3 year Hotel Management course helped me performing my role better.

By 9, Susan shall leave for office emptying her break fast served plates. My day starts from then. I will finish house hold chores one by one and will start indulging in experimenting with various culinary reactions. On having sound lunch followed my R & D, I shall either spend time on watching movies or sleeping.

I recently opened account in facebook, through which I could feel the pulse of my friends’ life and updates. I got back most of my degree friends in touch on facebook. On return from my purchase from Market, I used to visit Elizebeth or Sofy. They both were the ladies in our residential lane. They wanted my sweat resultant efforts to test their 'health and glow' which they have been acquiring from having nutritios diet, physical work outs at gym and luxurious lifestyle of utmost ease! What they wanted is a vibrant wild assistance to push them up to orgasm in absence of their partners. One of the advantages which I had sensed of these affairs is the feel of liberty to show off vulgarity with no limits, which I am sure one cannot do with the married partner.

Susan would come back home by 7, either in our own car or by any of her friend’s. If Susan comes drunk, she will allow me too to drink for the night, the expensive brands. On serving supper, she shall go to bed.

We had a weird chemistry working out in between. Unlike to other spouses, she hardly felt my presence and I was not strong enough to infiltrate in to her heart. There were no words called compassion, loyalty, sympathy, consideration, compromise as such in our married life vocabulary; but only formality. 

On the last Easter morning, I logged into my facebook account to post an Easter wish to my friends. I noticed a new message notification.

'Hey mate, Happy Easter wishes! Trust you remember me; your own degree room mate. I saw your profile in here and you turned handsome and acquired posh looks! I came to know from Shinoj that you got married to a UK Malayali girl and got happily settled in London. Heard that she takes care of your family financially by providing you food, clothing and shelter and you bloody works as an unpaid husband at home. Fucker, aren't you ashamed of yourself? You are a symbol of shame among entire MANkind! Anyways, good luck for you.. dear stinking piece of shit!'.

When I read this facebook message from my degree room mate named Purandar, I couldn't control my laughter. He was my evergreen enemy during college days ever since I stole INR 500 from his wallet to pay and settle down a whore on an emergency.

I replied to him: 'Hi dear.. How are you? Nevertheless, please understand that I'm very happy with my life :) '. I did not want to gift him a smile and to give him a psychological dominance over me. So, I lied him contrary to my state of being uncertain about my life. His message litigated my self confidence about own life and it screwed my happiness. It slowly ignited my dissatisfaction with what I am at present! 
In the evening, on returning from Church, I was too much disturbed about the shape of my life on reading Purandar's facebook message. On that night, when Susan was sleeping, I uncontrollably ran in to dining room and started weeping off on thinking of the worthlessness and helplessness of my life. Susan could hear my sobbing and came to me. That was a night without sleep. We spoke for hours and hours for the first time after marriage. We decided many things and also to produce a new member to the family.

Months went by and an indication of entry of a new member to our family appeared at Susan’s abdomen. During, gestation she took complete leave and was in home. Susan came out of operation theater with a crying face of male baby.

We named him Charles. First time after our marriage, we went to Kerala and spent 2 weeks. In presence of the new entrant Susan automatically got transformed from an authoritative home-lead to a loyal mother to my son! Susan started being sincere rather than mechanical in her attitude towards me.

We returned to London and then our days felt to be more meaningful. Susan resigned from her job and using her solid networking contacts, she arranged couple of interviews for me. And, I could get a job at the Marriott hotels, London. There were an Indian Kitchen. But, this time I was neither a servant nor a slave. I got the right platform to perform my natural passion towards cooking. Better salary and work environment made me a chef with full of energy. I started getting recognition to my talent at work. When I go back to home after duty, Susan and Charles shall be waiting to have life with me. A meaningful life. Life went on. I and Susan stopped having immoral fun outside and a better understanding was being formed, which solidified the relation to start off with.